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STOP blaming men; from A beat dead, disenfranchised dad on fatherless day

Being a beat dead, disenfranchised father for 25 years one would think that I would have hardened and gotten used to the anti male posts, articles, and comments about fathers on Father’s Day. But I haven’t, the negativity and chastisements telling fathers how they are supposed to be and blaming fathers for being absent still pisses me off to no end. I suspect it is from the idiocy and propaganda that family break down is the fault of men and not government policies, laws, rules, and regulation which is the cause. Blame which flies in the face of reality.

The most recent installment of idiocy is the Administration for Children and Families “Dadication” campaign (https://fatherhood.gov/dadication) directed at fathers through its fatherhood.gov web site. Of course government needs to push the “responsible fatherhood” agenda as cover for the fact that the disenfranchisement of fathers and the destruction of families is the result of their own programs. In response to a 20% out of wedlock birth rate in the African American community in the 1960’s the Moynihan Report came out (the Johnson Administration) and received immediate backlash for blaming black men.

Johnson’s war on poverty and the developing nanny/daddy state began subsidizing single mother homes. As these federal programs increased (Nixon, Ford, and Carter Administrations) so too did the problem of single mother homes. Adding to the out of wedlock fatherless homes was an increasing divorce rate which was made easier by “no fault” divorce laws. Even though more woman initiated divorce then men the stereotype was the philandering husband abandoning his family for the younger trophy wife. Men were blamed for “abandoning” their children regardless of circumstances.

Many people are unaware that the advocacy for men’s rights and fathers rights goes back to the 1970’s. Groups like the Men’s Defense Association published “The Liberator” newspaper advocating for equality for men in divorce and with child custody. The National Coalition of Free Men, renamed the National Coalition For Men at NCFM.org, was formed in 1977 and is still in existence today. (Full disclosure, I was a member of MDA and am a life member of NCFM). Sadly, blaming men for social ills continued with liberals looking at men as oppressors, “the patriarchy”, and conservatives looking at them a “deadbeats” not living up to their responsibilities.

It was under the Reagan administration the blaming men rose to new heights. A PBS special highlighted a black man who bragged of having 9 children with 9 different mothers and this was used to argue for a Federal Office of Child Support Enforcement to set standards for financial responsibility for fathers. “Deadbeat dads” were to be held responsible to pay back into federal coffers money expended to pay for his children. Title IVd of the Social Security Act was amended to award states money to hold these deadbeats responsible and a massive federal and state bureaucracy was born.

Of course the gynocentric hypocrisy was ignored. The fact that there was 9 tawdry mothers who had children out of wedlock with the same man was overlooked as was the fact that women choose to have out of wedlock children, not men who have no say in a woman’s pregnancy or abortion. Child support payments were now separated from father access to his children, no kids no check used to be the rule. Combined with no fault divorce, a man could be divorced from his children against his will and responsible fatherhood was redefined by government and media as did you pay your child support on time and in full.

Dr. Warren Farrell wrote “the Myth of Male Power” in the 1990’s pointing to the gynocentric hypocrisies. Sanford Braver conducted federally funded research in the 1990’s which he published in “Divorced Dads: Shattering the Myth’s” where he debunked the myth of the deadbeat dad. Unfortunately truth was countered by a biased media (see Bernard Goldberg’s book “Bias”) and now a large state and federal bureaucracy funded to take money from fathers and transfer it to federal coffers or direct to mothers.

I (with others) formed the Coalition of Fathers and Families Inc. and the NY Men’s Action Network PAC in the 1990’s and like others hoped the new technologies of email, internet, and web sites would help dispel the myth’s of the deadbeat dad and other negative stereotypes of men but unfortunately well funded government agencies and well funded by government non profits use these same tools to better advantage. Misinformed chivalry meets biased gynocentrism supported by propaganda from government and organizations making a living “fixing” the problem. There is no better example then the “Dadication” Campaign, unfortunately which is but one of many.

I was lifted today when I read an op-Ed in the Epoch Times, “On Fatherhood” by Paul Adams (https://www.theepochtimes.com/on-fatherhood_3863038.html). In it he points out the difference in treatment of mothers on Mother’s Day and fathers on Father’s Day with mothers receiving praise and fathers being admonished. We are making some progress. Unfortunately right along side of it is an article about fathers manning up in a feminized world. On the former article I commented on items which needed to be fixed, on the latter I commented on the mistake of blaming men (which pulled me from other chores to write this blog).

We are now entering the 6th decade of government nanny and daddy state regulation of the family. Each succeeding generation we have seen an increase in fatherless households to now 40% of families in America, 75% in the African American community. We continue to blame men, now “soy boys”, “cellar dwellers” or “gang bangers” for being raised absent their father and admonish them to act different while the new “woke” generation blames everything on men (ignoring how good most of us have it in America).

Government regulation of fathers and families has made marriage a hostile environment for men and we wonder why nobody wants to get married and women lament the “lack of marriageable men”. Child support has gotten so draconian that having a child, in or out of marriage, is a hostile environment for men and we wonder why the birth rate has dropped below 2 children per woman, not large enough to sustain our population. We raise children without their biological father then we wonder why they suffer greater anti-social behaviors. As long as we continue to blame men, give women a pass for not being responsible, and ignore the problems of government regulation of the family, we are not going to see any change for the better.

Lets Red Flag Unconstitutional Red Flag Laws

With all things the devil is in the details and when we look at the details of red flag laws we find they give arbitrary power of your constitutional rights to a government official which is bound to abuse that power. As I am a, now retired, career law enforcement officer, a parental rights activist for over 25 years, and a victim of these red flag laws I can speak to the abuses I’ve both seen and experienced. Here’s my personal horror story which is not unique and my humble opinion on the matter.

I was involved in a bitter 3 year custody battle with my soon to be ex wife (late 1990s). In an effort to gain an advantage she, obviously coached, resorted to filing abuse petitions and in many of them she claimed I threatened her by “reaching back on his waist where he carries his off duty gun.” Luckily for me my neighbors witnessed many of the incidents and testified in family court on my behalf resulting in an order of protection for me against her abusive instigating behavior.

Next she resorted to withholding my parenting time with my children. Due to bias in the system police do not enforce custody orders for non custodial parents even though it is a violation of penal codes and they refer you back to family court for resolution. On one occasion I arrived at the head of her driveway as she had just pulled in with the children and standing in the road calmly demanded my parenting time. She exited the vehicle and left the children in the car with her boyfriend announcing she was going to call the police to which I responded “good, I’ll wait right here in the road.” As the State Trooper arrived she came back out I began walking towards the children expecting the usual mediation and referral back to family court.

I was three steps onto the driveway when I was grabbed by the Trooper and slammed onto the back of her car as my ex quickly spirited the children into the house. The Trooper yelled, “where do you keep your gun” to which I responded it was in an ankle holster and I lifted my leg so he could take possession of the firearm. I then had a few heated words with that Trooper regarding the excessive force in lieu of verbal discussion or commands and my treatment by him. A second Trooper arrived and advised we could go to the barracks which was 5 minutes away and “straighten things out.” I had filed multiple custodial interference complaints at this barracks over the months only to be referred back to family court and thought the same would occur.

Supervisors from my agency began to arrive and I was sitting in the Troopers office with one of them and several Troopers discussing the flawed system when the original Trooper arrived and began to yell at me that I had no right to my children and I was harassing my ex, at which point I advised I would make no statements without my attorney. The Trooper had taken possession of my wallet and he left the office but shortly returned and handed me two appearance tickets for minor violations, trespass and simple harassment, and he threw my wallet at me which I noted was missing my badge and police ID. So I went to my supervisor and asked what my status was and he said suspended without pay.

As I had my court appearance tickets and suspected my pistol was being held as “evidence” I started to leave as the walk from there to my girlfriends house was only 5 minutes. I was grabbed at the back door and told that they had decided to take me to immediate arraignment and off I went to see the Judge. I was “lucky” he said as he wasn’t going to set bail but he did issue an order of protection ,among other things, seizing my firearms. My supervisor then drove me to my house in an adjoining county and took possession of all my work and personal firearms and then to my girlfriends house to get firearms I leave there as that was where I stayed when not working.

Here’s where the ironic hypocrisy begins. My girlfriend was a licensed pistol permit holder and kept a pistol in both night stands on either side of the bed. Additionally her son was a hunter and kept long guns in the house which were readily available to me. I had managed to not be arrested at the 10 plus times she said I “reached to his waist where he keeps his off duty gun” due to insufficient evidence and in 3 years of child custody litigation hadn’t laid a hand on her, much less threatened her but now I was a threat to her and society, the prior false allegations ignored. Amazingly I didn’t take possession of these readily available firearms and go on a rampage. I’m sure the order made me not do it.

I had a copy of my ex’s statement which was included in the charging documents. She claimed I was screaming and swearing and “reached around to my waist where I keep my off duty gun” and she feared I was going to grab it so she ran to call the police. Unknown to her or the Troopers was the fact I recorded every interaction I had with her and this incident was no different and I had an audio recording rebutting her allegations of verbal abuse and the fact my off duty pistol was in an ankle holster and was where I normally carried it undermined the argument I reached for a gun on my waist. I demanded a hearing on the seizure of my firearms and a speedy trial in 30 days which I was entitled to by law but was given neither and in fact had it postponed for month’s.

I scraped together my last $2500 and hired a criminal attorney. We arrived at the court date, an afternoon trial with me the only case docketed. As I was charged with only simple violations I was NOT entitled to a jury trial, the one case docketing certain to keep the process in the dark. I was left in the hall as my attorney went into a room with the Judge, the Assistant District Attorney for that Town, the Assistant District Attorney for Domestic Violence, and my ex. He came back out, visibly shaken, and advised when he told the Judge about the recording he ruled it inadmissible as “there was no chain of custody,” that if I demanded a trial and “if” found guilty he would sentence me to jail time and issue a lifetime order of protection. I had heard through my law enforcement contacts that the Judge was going to sentence me to consecutive 15 day sentences (30 days the maximum) and that I was to not be segregated from the regular population as was customary so I believed he would follow through on his threat.

My attorney advised I could win on appeal but it would cost between $5000 and $10,000 and take about 4 years. I advised him the lifetime order of protection meant I would be out of work and additionally incarceration, and this incident, would be considered a “voluntary” reduction in income and I would be jailed after 6 months for failure to pay child support waiting for the criminal appeal. I told him to cut any deal which would put me back to work. He told me my ex was incessant that I not be given a deal and when she was told that would mean no more child support payments from me she stated she didn’t care and wanted to see me destroyed. He apologized for not being able to stop the worst injustice he had seen in his long legal career, I’ve never seen anyone get as effed as you”, he said and went back in to see if he could cut a deal.

Back out he advised that the Judge had called my agencies Colonel in charge of uniform personnel to OK the deal and I was to be given a one year order of protection and I would be allowed to carry my duty firearm while working but no long guns or shotguns while on duty. I was to plead guilty to trespass and pay a $50 fine. My personal firearms would remain seized. As a condition of employment I had to maintain a home office and I was to leave my issued sidearm at my home office and not to carry a firearm when off duty. Given my girlfriends possession of firearms this in effect meant I was only unarmed from the time I left my home and travelled to hers. Amazingly the order “prevented” me from driving in my police car with my duty weapon and murdering my ex, I expect as I had my uniform on I was an upstanding member of society but when I took it off I turned into a dangerous threat to society. That’s it, I’m sure.

In divorce court I asked that exchanges of the children occur at a public location which could be monitored by neutral parties and was denied. If you violate an order of protection it is a felony and so I couldn’t risk picking up the children and having the false allegation repeated so in effect, the total exclusion of me from my children she had been fighting for three years to achieve was achieved by making these multiple false allegations when one finally stuck. Bankrupt, reputation destroyed, career almost ruined, and faced with a bad choice of returning to work and losing my children or the worse choice of going to jail and losing my children I chose bad over worse.

My suspension without pay from work was for 60 days, conduct unbecoming an officer for arguing with the Trooper. I was out of work for 4 month’s on the order of protection so when they offered to “take 5 days” I said the 60 days should be concurrent with the 4 month’s. When it went to an arbitration hearing the union attorney felt I had a very good argument but I warned him that they would play the domestic abuser card and they did. The hearing examiner split the difference and ordered a 30 days suspension without pay. Once the red flag is thrown it’ll be thrown time and time again when needed.

Those of us who have suffered in family and matrimonial courts have been sounding the alarm about these abuses of due process and violations of civil rights to no avail. Petitions for orders of protection are filed Ex Parte, meaning by one party without the defendant present. Judges think abundance of caution as no Judge wants to be the one who didn’t issue an order and then have something bad happen so fearing blame and having no rebuttal to the charges they almost never deny the order. Once the order is served any anger or indignation at the violation of your rights will be used as evidence to show you are angry and a danger. You suffer the costs of attorneys to retain your God given rights and the system will drag on painstakingly slow as you suffer financially, emotionally, and reputation-ally.

If you think it can’t happen to you look up “Cowboy’s for Trump” and the plight of their leader Couy Griffin, a New Mexico elected official, who “entered a restricted area” at the Capitol protest on Jan. 6 and held a prayer session outside of the Capitol Building. Regardless how you feel about his political views and alleged simple trespass on restricted capitol grounds his physical arrest and incarceration for 3 weeks with no bail seems extreme on its face. And when he was finally released, RED FLAG, his right to possess firearms was revoked in spite of the fact he has not been violent. When he received multiple death threats the Judge allowed him to possess firearms in his home but not his car or in public. If he’s not a danger to violate that order then the order itself is unnecessary and additionally threats against him are valid away from or in the home.

The view that an order of protection prevents violence flies idiotic in the face of reality as the violent acts are felonies and anyone who is willing to commit violence and face years in prison isn’t worried about violating an order which has less than a one year term. Orders “preventing” the possession of firearms similarly only work on people who legally own firearms and weren’t going to commit acts of violence in the first place. “Red Flag” is a government misnomer for “violate due process” under the guise of government “protecting” society by violating the civil rights of an individual who has not committed any crime and has not been allowed to rebut the allegations against him. Any angry exaggerated excited utterance or public post not meant to be taken literally, such as “Communists should be taken out and shot,” opens the door to anyone with a grudge, or government themselves, to RED FLAG the persons civil rights.

The fathers rights and parental rights movement dates back to the 1960s where advocates have since then and to today been complaining about the lack of due process, ex parte allegations taken as fact (Red Flag), unnecessary orders of protection issued, and individual civil rights violated on a daily basis. Legislators create misnamed bills “to protect the public” which in effect undermine civil rights and due process. Executive branches overcharge, incarcerate with excessive or no bail, issue ex parte orders of protection, and use overbearing and unnecessary police tactics to intimidate citizens. Judicial accountability is an area ignored by most of the public, courts are now where civil rights go to die. Our lack of due diligence to protecting civil rights under the guise of protecting the public and “preventing” crime is now undermining liberty for all of us. Us parental rights activists would like to welcome the rest of America to the unconstitutional nightmare.

James Hays,

Lt. (Ret) NY En-Con Police, past President of the Coalition of Fathers and Families NY, Inc. (FaFNY) and past Director of the NY Men’s Action Network (NYMAN)

The Daddy State is Replacing Fathers and Undermining Marriage

Not a day goes by where we don’t see a person on TV talking about the problems of father absence and out of wedlock births. Do a search for “Responsible Father” and up pops web sites and government programs directed at men and talking about their responsibility to their children. As a 25 year father rights activist I am well aware of these programs having attended state and national seminars put on by government promoting responsible fathers all aimed at fixing fathers. Unfortunately they are all the same and doomed to failure for they fail to properly identify the problem and keep blaming men and ignoring the federal government and states as the culpable parties.

The 1935 Social Security Act (SSA) included federal dollars for Aid to Dependent Children. At that time most black mothers worked so the program was aimed primarily at white mothers with a deceased, absent, or unable to work husband. In the early 1960s civil rights activists and welfare reform activists worked to eliminate biases within the system and black mother participation increased. Fearing the program would reduce marriages the name was changed to Aid to Families with Dependent Children (AFDC) in 1962. In 1964 President Johnson began his war on poverty campaign which added food stamps and medicaid for poor people. Thus the role of father as financial provider was usurped.

In 1967 the federal government required states to establish paternity and also to extend benefits of unemployed male parents. In 1968 the Supreme Court ruled that the AFDC benefits could not be reduced for a man in the house if they were not deemed to be an “actual or substitute parent.” In 1981 the Supreme Court ruled that a step-fathers income be considered. Thus providing a financial incentive to mothers to not live with their children’s father and to not marry any future significant others.

In 1965 Daniel Patrick Moynihan saw that there was a crisis in African American families as 23.6% of births were to unmarried mothers. He also noted that historically the rate of increase or decline in African American male unemployment paralleled the rate of AFCD cases but in 1962 the lines crossed with AFDC cases going up as unemployment claims went down. He warned against Defining Deviancy Down as single mother houses were becoming socially acceptable. When he published his findings in “The Negro Family: the Case for National Action” he received criticism from civil rights leaders for labelling blacks. The report was not put into policy by Johnson due to this.

In 1960 the birth control pill was approved for use in the United States giving women reproductive choice. In 1970 abortion was legalized. Men have no similar effective temporary birth control method nor means to “abort” an unwanted pregnancy. If a woman has an unwanted pregnancy she can terminate the pregnancy regardless of the wishes of the man. If a woman decides to carry the pregnancy to term, even if she lied to the man about her reproductive status, and even if he doesn’t want to be a father, she can establish him as the father and he will be held financially responsible for the child.

The Feminist movement began in the 1960s and originally touted itself as an equal rights movement but the radical feminist movement split off from that blaming “patriarchal white men” for “oppression” of women. It portrayed the view that men were abusers of women and children. The theme of the feminist was women don’t need men. Labor participation increased for women throughout the 60’s with 1963s Equal Pay Act and 1965s establishment of the Equal Employment Opportunity Act and prohibitions on sex discrimination in employment. While originally about choice, the movement looks down and denigrates women who choose a traditional nuclear family over a career, encouraging young girls to forego the former and choose the latter as the social norm.

Historically the person wanting out of a marriage or who committed adultery lost custody of the children. In the late 1800s the courts increasingly relied on the Tender Years Doctrine holding that young children be placed with the mother and older children with the father. In 1970 California passed the first “no fault” divorce law and this trended across the land. In reality all one needed to do to escape a marriage was to file for legal separation in family court, live apart for a year, then file for divorce under the abandonment statutes. New York was the last state to enact no fault divorce in 2010. Child custody changed in the 1970s abandoning the Tender Years Doctrine in favor of The Best Interests of the Child standard. Thus decision making on custody was placed at the courts discretion. Even with this standard the mother custody rate after divorce was well over 85% due to judicial bias against men. Divorce rates jumped to about 50% of all marriages.

The combination of subsidized single mother homes and easy divorces saw divorces and father absent homes rise as did AFDC claims. In 1988 President Reagan signed the Family Support Act establishing a federal Office of Child Support Enforcement thus removing states rights in this area. He ordered the states to have support guidelines in effect but left the states only one year to establish them. Each State was to also establish an Office of Child Support Enforcement. While labelled as “child support” the massive bureaucratic program was designed to establish paternity of children receiving AFDC and hold the father financially responsible and return the money to federal coffers. And thus the “Deadbeat Dad” was created.

Lacking time to establish reasonable child support guidelines the states just enacted the example guidelines provided by the federal government, an income shares model which taxed the “non custodial parent” (most often the father) 17% of his income for one child and 25% for two (with some variation in states). The assessment is pre tax dollars so the payer is responsible for the income tax in addition to the income transfer and one child is 35% and two 48% of gross income. In later years draconian collection methods were implemented, including incarceration. Fathers making close to 3 figure salaries can usually make the payments and still get by but a father making under $60,000 is reduced to living below poverty levels. Studies have shown that the vast majority of “deadbeats” are really dead broke, inability to pay the number one reason for default. Incarceration disproportionately affects poor fathers who tend towards young fathers and fathers of color.

In the 1990s Sanford Braver conducted the only federal research on child support and the family and he published his findings in “Divorced Dads: Shattering the Myth’s.” This, and subsequent private studies, have shown that about 80% of divorces are filed by women with the number one reason being “we grew apart”. The divorce rate peaked at about 50% of all marriages and has been declining as the marriage rate is rapidly declining. After divorce mothers obtain about 50% of the marital assets, usually more, and gain custody of children in about 85% cases. Worse, there are virtually no access enforcement avenues for a non custodial parent denied access by the custodial parent, and 50% of women admitted to having interfered with a fathers access to his children.

In out-of-wedlock births the support guidelines provide a perverse incentive for women to have multiple children with multiple fathers as two 17% payers (34%) is higher than one father paying for two (25%). Poor young men have no disincentive to having out-of-wedlock children as they have no income to be taxed. And those with out-of-wedlock children are incentivized to work off the books, crime and drug distribution two good off the books income earners. Access to their children can be had by providing direct financial support to the mother in exchange for access. And we are now in the third and forth generations of children raised in single mother homes, thus establishing it as the societal norm for 1/2 the population.

As government “helped” the family these past 6 decades we saw marriage decline, divorce and out -of-wedlock births increase and now 40% of children live absent their father, close to 75% of African American fathers. I think it’s plain to see, it isn’t fathers that need to be taught responsibility.

James Hays, Lt. (Ret) NY En-Con Police, past President of the Coalition of Fathers and Families NY, Inc. (FaFNY) and past Director of the NY Men’s Action Network (NYMAN).

Disenfranchised Conservative Fathers – Keep Fighting

Those of us who have suffered oppressive government and the child support bureaucracy; (anti) family court, judicial denial of parental rights and ultimately all or our rights, denial of free speech, and vilification as “deadbeats” for being “beat dead” and disenfranchised by the system are not surprised that this system has grown to do the same to others. Us Conservatives activist father and family advocates had 4 years to bring the issue of Title IVd and the disenfranchisement of fathers to the attention of the Trump administration and we failed. But make no mistake that while the “right” ignores us the radical left, part of this new administration, is out to destroy us. BLM, Antifa, and socialist democrats ALL have Marxist anti family positions which will make it worse for men/fathers/families. We need to continue to fight back.

Conservatives need to be like Father and Family Activists have been for the past 30 years and realize the battle continues daily. Perhaps it is my 25+ years of advocacy for parental rights which has me see the recent elections more as a minor loss of a battle than the loss of the war, for indeed, the battle continues and the war is lost only if we surrender and fail to protect the U.S. Constitution and Bill of Rights, daily, weekly 24/7/365 year after year. And to this end I believe that the recent fraudulent election has revealed who is the enemy and also awakened the great army of American Citizen’s who believe in individual rights and responsibilities granted to us by God.

We should recognize that the Presidency was not lost but stolen in a fraudulent election due to unconstitutional changes to methods and manners of voting in the swing states combined with flagrant ballot stuffing and other irregularities. But this is correctable as the state legislatures can meet and change these rules. We need to begin this process immediately. In states with Governors or elective bodies that refuse we need to push a grass roots voting effort to primary them out of office or win outright in general elections. STATES SHOULD MANDATE IN STATE CONSTITUTIONS THAT EACH LEGISLATURE MEET AND AUTHORIZE THE ELECTORAL COLLEGE REPRESENTATIVES FROM THAT STATE! This will allow them to investigate and stop fraud in the future.

The “President Elect” is a tottering old fool and a career outlaw politician. Certainly the VP will be looking to replace him, the timing and method of which is bound to cause division in their ranks. Conservatives need to hold this administration accountable and keep the pressure on it for every one of its failures and for every attempt to violate the rights of Citizen’s. Let there be no public appearance by any of their representatives which does not receive a rally in opposition. Pitch the socialist democrats against the “moderates”, Antifa and BLM have no love of this “President”. Use their own methods against them where legal.

The Judicial system has failed us and the Constitution. Federal Judges readily legislate from the bench but when called upon to determine Constitutionality they took a pass, to the last using procedural maneuvers to dismiss election lawsuits to delay past the counting of the electoral votes. The Supreme Court shamefully dismissed a suit filed by one state against another. As the court of original jurisdiction they were bound by federal law to address the case but they too used procedural maneuvers to dismiss the case. What good is a “Conservative Court” if they don’t act? We need to put pressure on the Judiciary and when they act political we need to call them out and protest their actions.

The election has also outed the milquetoast RINO’s who failed to support our President in battling the fraud. They further paint all Trump supporters at the rally with a broad brush of guilt for the actions of a very few individuals, and these few infiltrated by Antifa thugs. They now present themselves as “peacemakers” to bring the nation together. Wishing to be recognized as doves they are serpents, traitors to true Conservatives and supporters of the Constitution. ALL patriots should withhold their donations from the National Republican Party and donate directly to true Conservative Republicans. And they need to be DRIVEN FROM OFFICE IN PRIMARIES.

While we have lost the Senate, most likely to another fraudulent election, and failed to gain the house the promised “big blue wave” never materialized. Their majority is a slim majority. While they may kill the filibuster and pack the supreme court these actions will only serve to further alienate them from the American Citizen’s, the majority of which do not support that. There are 34 U.S. Senate seats up for a vote in 2022 and we need to dump the RINO’s in primaries and win 17 general elections a a minimum. And with a slim dem majority in the house Conservative Republican control is a reality.

To this end THE ELECTION NEEDS TO START TODAY. Find and support true conservative candidates and donate your time and money to get them elected. We also need to look to make gains in putting true Conservative Republican’s in control of state houses and Governorships. Primary out the globalists like the Secretary of State and Governor in Georgia and replace them with true Conservatives.

Unlike the tea party which pushed the Republicans to do right then fizzled due to lack of a national leader, this movement has a leader in Donald J. Trump. He has committed to continuing the fight to drain the swamp and his loyalty to us deserves loyalty back. Additionally, this movement isn’t a one horse show with up and coming leaders showing their mettle; DeSantis, Gaetz, Jordan, and many others come immediately to mind. Should President Trump decide not to run in 2024 we have a large field of true Conservative Republican’s to choose from. We need to fully support and fund their political activities.

Fire fake news. Sites like Epoch Times, One America News, Tucker Carlson, and The Bongino Report among others needs to be our go to sources of information. Fire twitter, facebook, and youtube TODAY and replace them with Rumble and Parler. As I write this Google has removed Parler’s app and Apple is doing the same. Amazon is throwing them off their server. Once they have rebuilt on another server you can use your browser to go to and get on them direct. Use DuckDuckGo as your search engine and get a Virtual Privacy Network (VPN), I use Express VPN. We need to develop more Conservative American businesses such as banks, credit card companies, and manufacturing with direct internet sales so we can break ourselves from the monopoly of globalist monopolies like Amazon and Walmart. BUY LOCAL AND BUY AMERICAN! As consumers we can vote with our purchases and dollars.

Republican states need to follow the lead of Florida and Governor DeSantis regarding the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) Virus. Open schools, churches and businesses and get the Conservative states economies moving. NO MORE LOCK DOWNS AND CLOSURES! Resist any and all actions by the federal government to restrict the Citizen’s of your state. High risk people (like me) can hunker down until the vaccine is widely available but there’s no reason to restrict young healthy people. States, like NY and CA are seeing people fleeing those states, let them stay locked down and accept the industries and businesses which are fleeing the arbitrary closures.

The assault on President Trump may be a blessing in disguise. From spying on a candidate and then a sitting President to the Russia Hoax and special prosector then impeachment, the CCP Virus and illegal restrictions on Citizen’s, and finally a fraudulent election, A COUP, to remove the President we now know how far the globalists will go to undermine America and more importantly they have all exposed themselves. They showed their tolerance for violence in the acceptance and encouragement of rioting, burning and looting, which they then portray as “mostly peaceful protests”. They use their echo chamber and propaganda machine to blame conservatives for what they are doing in an attempt to re-write history, a system of lies and deceit which would make any communist proud.

Make no mistake, we are in an information, government control, and violent civil disobedience civil war to take down the U.S. Constitution and insert a globalist oligarchy controlled in the U.S. by home grown oligarch’s and social democrat political elites. They get rich and have freedoms we don’t, rules for thee but not for me, this while the middle class disappears and the poor get poorer as their numbers increase making more people dependent on government. They will use violence against you, including the violence of non prosecution of your attackers and prosecution of you for defending yourself. While I’m not supporting violence and uncivil actions, we need to recognize we need to play the game by the rules in force and not back down from violence and stand up to uncivil acts with our own civil disobedience. We need to give as good as we get. And if we stay the course we can get the U.S. Constitution, The Bill of Rights, the Rule of Law, and America back again.

Jay Hamilton

Remembering Wiley Dobbs – FaFNY Volunteer of the Year

It was 13 years ago, May 29, when Wiley Dobbs passed away . Shortly after we formed the Coalition of Fathers and Families NY, Inc. (FaFNY) I, as President then, began giving out the Wiley Dobbs Volunteer of the Year Award. Wiley fought for our freedom in WWII as an air crew member on B-17’s over Germany and retired from employment with NYS which I learned from his obituary.

What I did know personally about Wiley was that he was a tireless parental rights advocate. Before social media, the internet, and even email, communication was in written form on paper which had to be delivered by some means. To convey the importance of both parents to children Wiley purchased on his own, every month, 220 copies of the Children’s Rights Council monthly magazine and he would personally hand deliver them to the legislature and Governors Office. This was in addition to him writing short hand written letters mailed to elected representatives on a consistent basis.

When I picked up the duties of the Legislative Coordinator with FaFNY I followed his example and would regularly go to the state capitol and walk the 9 floors of the Legislative Office Building, Capitol Building, and Executive Chamber and deliver information to every legislator and the Governors Office. I wrote letters to legislative leaders and authored memo’s in support and opposition to legislation based on the position of FaFNY and its members. I also used fax machines to deliver them until email became available and I started using that medium. All this was in addition to phone calls and meeting face to face with policy makers in all 3 branches of government.

I followed Wiley’s lead in working tirelessly to foster change. Now old myself, retired, with 2 replaced knees, my days of walking the legislature are done. I still author an occasional piece, such as this one, for NY MAN. I include my comments on Wiley’s Obituary below with the hope that perhaps someone will be inspired to take up the call and lobby for change. And should you find yourself wandering the halls of government in Albany, stop and listen for a moment and hear the footsteps of those who went before you, knowing you are in good company.

James H. Hays, Lt. (Ret) NYS EnCon Police

Old civil rights activists never die, they just fade away. And so it is with Wiley, for the FaFNY volunteer of the year award is named after him. For many years Wiley stepped up and carried on the fight for parental civil rights. Many a time he would show up at a parents rights meeting with a hand written letter in his hand, sent to the Governor or some such other official and their reply, “Just write them a short letter by hand” he would say. I also remember him for his purchasing of the Children’s Rights Council newsletter for the entire NYS Legislature, over 220 copies, and delivering them himself, walking the halls of the Legislative Office Building and stopping at each office to deliver and chat. When his legs weakened with age he still would purchase them for others to deliver. He was also not afraid to cut a check to do good, contributing to the first Parental Civil Rights PAC in NY, always working in any way to help others. Do a little here, donate a little there, and keep doing it year after year.

That is why the FaFNY Volunteer of the year award was named after Wiley. He sought not personal gain nor even recognition for the good that he did, He simply set about trying to correct the injustices of society by doing whatever he could. This honest advocacy was planted like a seed into others, and today many carry on the fight for justice growing from his contributions.

As time went by Wiley didn’t attend meetings or walk the halls of the LOB as age got the better of him. Many today would not even recognize his name, the old advocate fading away.

In closing here I would ask that all who read this take a minute and write a hand written note to the Governor or some such other official advocating for a civil rights for individuals. And should you be one of the few who takes the time to walk the halls of government advocating for others, stop and listen for a moment for you will hear the foot steps of a Great American walking with you and recognize that you are in good company.

In memory of a friend and mentor,

Mr. James H. Hays, (former) President and founder of FaFNY.org and FaFNY-PAC, a life long civil rights activist.

Jim Hays

August 02, 2007 | Ballston Spa, NY

Men risking injury or death in going to work is an everyday event even without a pandemic

With the economy shut down by government edict and the Wuhan Virus curve flattened discussion turns to risks to life and limb on opening up the economy. Lost in the discussion is the fact that men have this risk-benefit balancing act every day regardless of a global pandemic or not and the pandemic increases the risk to men. I’ll leave the socially constructed or genetic “nature-nurture” argument to another piece, the fact of the matter is men are expected to earn money for their family and it is the dirty and risky jobs with long hours and dangerous working conditions which pay the most.

Men accounted for about 92% of workplace accidents and deaths before the pandemic. But to put aside the “risky nature of men” argument I point out that it is married men who have much higher earnings and who work many more hours than single men. As we age, which also correlates to family formation, our fatalities at work increase, bearing this out. A single man doesn’t need the same amount of resources as a family. And it is much easier for a single man to ride out a period of low or unemployment, his personal needs far below what is required when taking care of a family. And when we look at occupational risk for men we should understand that the benefit goes to other than him.

When we look at essential work defined under the virus response guidelines it becomes apparent that the necessary work is the dirty dangerous jobs that men hold. Jobs that can’t be done staying at home. Farmers, butchers, truck drivers, deliverymen, electric linemen, police and firefighters, and on, and on. Add to this the fact that women now account for about 65% of college degrees, many fields which carry much less risk and can often be conducted from home, and we see that men in the future will be tied financially to high risk occupations. Are we setting up future generations of men for worse outcomes?

While there has been some reporting regarding higher infection and death rates for men such as 65% of front line medical personnel impacted even though men are less than 25% of that population it generally isn’t reported by sex. But coverage of male victims points to the theory that men have an inferior immune system when compared to women. And when it doesn’t point to genetics the coverage reverts to the old “blame men” game, bordering on the “toxic masculinity” myth. The view that men are put at risk due to societal expectations of them to earn for others isn’t even broached. Could the answer to why more men are infected be that more men are working longer hours in dangerous occupations and thus risking themselves to a higher chance of exposure?

It has been reported that the black and latino communities have a higher rate of infection but missing from these statistics is how many men are victims as compared to women in these minority populations? Is the issue race or is it sex? I would also look at socioeconomic conditions, especially in inner cities with government subsidized single mother homes, as a driving force which puts men of color at the bottom of the of the outcome curve of men in general. Does it benefit the minority community to move minority women up on the outcome curve while moving minority men down? Dependance and poverty breeds more poverty. Lacking opportunities to earn are we forcing these men into the dangerous jobs which increases their negative outcomes?

And one area where the working man is socially constructed is in the regulation of men by government to be financial providers for their children, regardless if they are disenfranchised from them or not. Here in the Unites States the federal government directs a large bureaucracy called the Office of Child Support which oversees Title IV-d of the Social Security Act and 50 state Offices of Child Support Enforcement. By looking at the incentive payments from the feds to the states we see it covers only financial payments fostering the sexually biased “men as financial providers” stereotype of the 1950’s. We have “deadbeat dads” but never a “mopey mom” who is chastised and persecuted for not providing for their children financially, regardless of the reason. There is also NO financial reward to the states to foster hands on caregiving fathers nor to assist in a fathers access to time with his children.

Rather than study any of this it is easier to blame men. Pointing fingers at men for being men, “it’s in their nature”, “toxic masculinity”, they’ve only themselves to blame as “they don’t take care of themselves”. But if men are prone to more risky behaviors then shouldn’t we be studying it to find out how to reduce the injuries and deaths? If men are at a higher risk to get the Wuhan Virus due to genetics then aren’t they at a greater risk for all viruses and shouldn’t we be studying that to see how to reduce the risk?

If we fail men, we fail society. The Coalition to Create a White House Council on Men and Boys has identified 5 areas where men and boys are in a nationwide crisis. Unless, and until, we get a council such as this which focuses research and policy to areas address the needs of men and boys we can expect to see men continuing to be injured and die from the toxic masculinity of working to better others and society, with or without a pandemic.

The answer is you, the time is now

Organizational infighting, no organizational cooperation towards a specific goal, and a lack of individual support are killing the men’s rights/fathers rights/parental rights movement. Now that I have 25 years of activism under my belt with a multitude of organizations (many of which have come and gone) I can offer up my personal experience as an example of individuals not supporting the cause and worse, individuals undermining the cause.

It’s 1995 and I got whacked with the standard triple order, a “Temporary Order of Protection (TOP) restricting access to my children, a “Temporary” Custody Order for my (soon to be) ex wife, and the “Temporary” Child Support Order. Sound familiar? This when the internet hadn’t yet been invented and email was a new thing which most didn’t have. I found a newspaper notice of a meeting for the “Fathers Rights Association NYS” (FRANYS) and attended my first meeting of the local Capital District chapter (FRA-CD).

The first meeting was attended by the President of the local chapter and me. That’s it. I did get a load of good information from him to help me individually as a pro se litigant. Subsequent meetings would have at most 3 or 4 people and for the most part consisted of people relaying their personal injustices suffered, each story worse than the one before. The statewide meeting was to be in our area in a couple of month’s and I attended that, about 10 people at that one. I sat down and when attendance was taken of the chapter delegates voting on the state board there was none from my chapter so I was sat as the voting member. I’m 4 months into the process and sitting on a policy board.

The organization, a 501c3 non profit, lacked any consistent lobbying of government for change and had NO political action committee or lobbyist. The monthly meetings consisted of people looking for help on their individual cases and upon hearing the system was so bad that they would end up with the “Standard NY Order” of every other weekend visits which weren’t enforced and payment of excessive child support which would leave them personally at the poverty level most attended 2 or 3 meetings and never joined to organization as a member. But every month a group of new initiates to injustice would show up looking for help.

The organization held a lobby day at the NYS Legislature each spring and I attended my first in 1996. Attendance was less than 50 people, this in a state with a population of about 20 million where it is estimated there were 2.5 million plus non custodial parents. It was disorganized with few meetings between organization leaders and the leaders of the legislature and important committees. Many attendees showed up in shorts and t-shirts and it was not uncommon for a meeting with a legislator to turn into an insult fest with legislators shouted at for what they haven’t done to help out. Once the event was over there was no lobbying presence and outside of this legislative activity there was no interaction with state agencies or the executive and judicial branches of government.

After 3 years of litigation I lost my kids to alienation in 1999. Instead of dealing with individual injustices I decided to get involved to change things for the better for everybody. I was elected President of FRA-CD and also made the Chair of the Legislative Committee with FRANYS. I had weekly meetings with legislative leaders and began lobbying the Governors Office and the Office of Court Administration which oversees NYS Courts. I was joined by FRA-CD members Debby Fellows and Randall L. Dickinson and we 3 became the principle advocates and lobbyists in NYS.

In 2001 we lobbied the NYS Senate Leader for money for a fatherhood center and were to receive a grant of $25,000 the first year. But some in the state leadership feared that FRA-CD, the largest chapter of 6, would break from it so they “decertified” the FRA-CD leadership. They then filed felony theft charges against me for paying the chapters outstanding bills “without authorization”. The frivolous charges were dismissed at grand jury, but not without 6 month’s under the color of charges which resulted in the Senate pulling support for the Fatherhood Center.

The removal of FRD-CD did result in the chapter going independent and the Coalition of Fathers and Families NY, Inc. (FaFNY) was formed as a statewide membership organization from the leaders of the FRA-CD Chapter. FRANYS and its chapters ceased activity except for local in person meetings and folded all together a few years later. We chose to call ourselves a coalition as our focus was going to be on educating and lobbying NYS Government in all branches and at all levels and in doing so would bring together the various organizations in NYS to work on goals and objectives such as shared parenting and court reform.

We held a statewide lobby day in April of every year to bring in the groups to lobby for our legislation. In addition we held weekly meetings with legislators, staff, the Governors Office and NYS Court Administration. I delivered flyers and handouts to the entire legislature EVERY week, walking the floors and delivering them personally. We wrote op-ed articles and appeared on TV and Radio. But to maintain this level of work we were expending 30-40 hours a week, this on top of our full time jobs. Maintaining membership lists got to be an administrative burden and we changed to a Board run organization which freed up more time to lobby. We affiliated nationally with the American Coalition of Fathers and Children (ACFC). We held many successful protests with media coverage and were successful in changing many policies and rules for the better and we blocked a lot of anti-father legislation.

In 2006 we started a push to get shared parenting enacted. The powers opposed managed to hold the bill in the Children and Families Committee of the Assembly and we focused our attention there. Through affiliation with ACFC we used Glenn Sacks “His side” computer-fax and developed a “Thumbs Up!” campaign to bombard members of the committee daily and continually to bring the bill up for a vote this in addition to collecting signatures across the state. Month’s of work culminated in a scheduled vote but opposition by Speaker of the Assembly Sheldon Silver resulted in him horse trading favors for no votes and a slim majority of both parties together held the bill, in effect killing it that year.

The work load took a toll on those with the organization and combined with changing life circumstances the leaders took a needed break from organizing and lobbying. Unfortunately no persons or organizations have stepped up to fill the void in lobbying state government. The National Parents Organization is pushing for Bill A0918 in the NYS Assembly a shared parenting in temporary orders bill and a quick search shows Shared Parenting S02916 Helming, and S04260 Parker in the Senate. A04005 Weprin, same as S02584 Lanza which is the Family Court Reform Act (a FaFNY sponsored bill) is still in both houses. All bills sit with few multi or co-sponsors showing a lack of lobbying for enactment.

I think my experience supports my position of a lack of support and organizational cooperation. I don’t want to sound all gloom and doom though. Given that organizations are staffed almost 100% by unpaid volunteers and we represent a group of people who have been financially wiped out, and usually remain so for many years, the advocacy organizations have made great headway. In 1995 you would have been given every other weekend Friday at 5 to Sunday at 6 and one mid week 4 hour visit with NO enforcement for interfering with that little time and it was unheard of for a father to actually get custody. Child Support Enforcement and courts treated you like the enemy, now not so much. So things have improved, but there’s much more to do.

Just as emails and internet changed our organization from meeting in a physical location once a month, social media and high speed internet are changing the way groups “meet” and discuss things. Information which took us month’s to find or distribute now can be disbursed in minutes with the worlds information available immediately on your smart phone. That said, it is a bit shameful that in this day and age of instant communication we have no organizational cooperation towards a specific goal, no individual participation in action items like contacting legislators, and legislation like shared parenting which has about 85% support of the population sits idle with no organizational or grass roots advocacy.

If you agree the system needs changing the person to do that is you and the time to do it is now.

James Hays, (Ret) NYS En-Con Police Lt., Co-founder and past President FaFNY, past Director NY MAN, life member NCFM, past administrator with Friends of Protection For Men.

Do you know how many complaints we have?

When I took over as principle lobbyist for FaFNY in the 1990’s (in addition to co-founding, being president of, and running the legislative committee and Director of NYMAN PAC) I scheduled face to face meetings with policy advisors in the Governors Office, the Chief Administrative Judge for the NYS Courts Matrimonial Part (which includes family court). the Commissioner of NYS Child Support, and the NYS Bar Association. I would make an agenda of 10 items of complaint that I had culled from the many complaints of members of this and other organizations. The question I dreaded most from the person I was meeting with was, “Do you know how many formal complaints I have on file with us”? Because I knew what the answer would be; zero, nada, NONE.

In the days before the internet meetings were held monthly, face to face, at a public meeting hall. We started calling them “pity parties” for they consisted of persons complaining of the injustices and looking for help in their individual case. While the venting of the emotional impact of the system was an important part of the meetings there was no drive to work to change the system. Even when we started doing targeted letter writings we would get push back with people stating it was no use and it was a waste of time. Most were unconcerned with change other than their own individual case.

As an organizational leader I would also get rank and file advice on what I should be doing. Worse, many would try to lecture me on being ineffective as I didn’t (insert complaint here) bring out awareness, put hundred of people in the street protesting, made us look bad by fighting against child support injustices, didn’t get enough press, fought for fathers only showing gender bias, didn’t provide free resources, yada, Yada, YADA.

When this Wuhan Virus crisis hit I wrote a letter to the federal office of child support enforcement, the state child support enforcement office, and the NYS Courts. I posted it on NYMAN and on multiple Facebook pages. I HAVE SEEN ZERO POSTINGS OF LETTERS TO ANY GOVERNMENT OFFICIAL REGARDING PROBLEMS IN THIS SYSTEM from any other state or by another organization in NYS. Over a week I get less than 10 hits a day on this post on NYMAN and I have seen ZERO posts regarding someone who forwarded it as a link to it to a government official. The question I have for you is WHY? Is the system working for you or are you so busy sheltering in place at home and out of work that you can’t send an email or a letter outlining your complaints?

Is the family rights/fathers rights/men’s rights movement a wheel so broken it doesn’t even squeak anymore? Will a wheel that doesn’t squeak get any grease? I have seen one article discussing the family court backlog and Covid-19, and I posted a link to that article on multiple facebook pages requesting people go to that site and comment there to bring awareness of the complaints to the public eye. My comment (and an advertising comment) stands alone. WHY?

For those of you who are just entering this system of injustice I’m sure it is scary to hear that it used to be far worse. From the 1990’s to the present there have been a scant few dedicated people, with limited resources, who work day in and day out to foster change. It has been occurring slowly over time. And it will continue to change IF people continue to do something to foster change. The answer to who should do it is YOU and the answer to what to do is ANYTHING which puts it on the public record. Many hands lighten the load.

If you look for personal help and then fail to foster change then you are part of the problem. If you fail to file formal complaints regarding the injustices you have suffered, then you are part of the problem. When an organization asks you to provide assistance (a letter or an email for them to use) and you don’t, then you are part of the problem. If you fail to comment on the original content from news sites, then you are part of the problem. And if you have an idea that an organization should do and you don’t volunteer to do it, then you are part of the problem. If you are whining at a pity party without proposing a solution to the problem, then YOU are the problem.

So what do you plan to do and when do you plan to do it?

The time to do something is now, the person to do it is you.

You can be a part of the solution, just make it happen.

James Hays, Lt. NYS En-Con Police (Ret) was a 25 year family rights advocate (Ret). He co-founded the Coalition of Fathers and Families NY, Inc. (FaFNY) and served as President, Treasurer, and Legislative Committee Chair. He co-founded and was Treasurer of the NY Men’s Action Network (NYMAN) PAC and was a lobbyist for Family Rights from 1996 to 2006. He holds a Bachelors Degree in Family and Society from SUNY. He continues to contribute to the NY Men’s Action Network blog in his retirement.

A letter to Courts and Federal and State Child Support Collections

While directed to NYS the following letter can be used as a template in other states with minor modifications.

Chief Administrative Judge Lawrence Marks, NYS Unified Court System 25 Beaver St. New York, NY 10004

Commissioner Michael P. Hein, Office of Temporary Disability Assistance 40 N. Pearl St. Albany, NY 12243

Commissioner Scott Lekan, ACF, Office of Child Support Enforcement 330 C Street, S.W. Washington, DC 20201

Dear Sirs;

I am writing on behalf of the New York State child support payers for information and with suggestions to help in these trying times. With 10 million jobless claims in the past 2 weeks alone it is apparent that the system is going to see massive filings to reduce payments due to loss of income through no fault of the payers. I am asking what measures are being put into place to ensure that everyone get due process and no one falls through the cracks and is penalized by the system?

I am unsure if relief payments will be seized in the Federal and State Tax Offset Programs for payers in arrears and look for clarification of this fact. Also, how is the per child payment to families to be calculated, to those that get the child deduction on the 2018 tax filing? Or “custodial” and “non custodial” status on custody agreements? If circumstances changed after the 2018 tax year how would parents ensure the child relief payment gets distributed correctly?

I see NYC Family Court allows virtual courts, is this being expanded outside of NYC due to the current travel restrictions? And to prevent persons from having to travel unnecessarily, what measures are being put into place to allow filing of documents by electronic means such as email or web page platforms with fill in the blank forms? Are filing rules being loosened to allow electronic filings in place of time stamped documents?

Government is asking mortgage holders, landlords, and creditors to delay collection methods and to not apply interest and penalties for missed or late payments. Is the Child Support Collection System going to do the same?

Certainly some vindictive parents will use the shelter in place order to deny a parent their parenting time with the children. What system of expedited filing and methods for enforcement is in place? Given that the children are not attending school and both parents are likely at their separate homes, either out of work or working from home, what is the procedure to handle the filings for physical shared parenting as parents are now equally available to parent their children during this crisis?

I suggest that the system stop all methods of punitive arrears collection (suspension of licenses, garnishments, etc.), including suspending the Federal and State Tax Offset Programs for the duration of the crisis. We all know the number one reason a person doesn’t pay is inability due to poverty and the current financial mess is certainly bound to add many more to those unable to pay.

I suggest that judges waive mandatory filing rules so that filings can be considered based upon a preponderance of the evidence of the actual date of change and not the date of filing. Also, the system needs to accept electronic filings to prevent both court personnel and users from having to interact in person subjecting all to possible infection by this dreaded virus. And a system of conference calling needs to be in place of physical hearings.

I close thanking you for your attention to these matter and I look forward to hearing from you. I am available by email, through the web site, or by phone on request.

Sincerely,

Sent electronically and hard mail

CC: Web site, social media postings

A crisis is no reason to stop advocating for men and boys

It seems that the focus on the Corona Virus has shut down government activity but that doesn’t mean that it shuts down our political activism. Indeed, the fact that many legislators and their staff are sheltering in place means that we may be able to reach them through electronic means, social media and email, and the old reliable snail mail may be an option also. And since we are ALL sheltering in place we all have the time to advocate for reform of the anti male, anti father, anti parent, anti children and family system.

Might I suggest that each person take a topic or two, get well read on it, and focus on lobbying for change on that? For example shared parenting at the state level brings us equal parental rights under state law and the Parental Rights and Responsibilities Act would give us equal parental rights at the federal level. You can advocate for them both at the same time. You can find information about them and a list of other topics and the level of government to lobby for change at “About NY MAN”. Remember to link to NY MAN and any other sites such as NCFM, or The Coalition to Create a White House Council on Men and Boys in support of your position.

As an incentive to get others to join the advocacy make sure to post your activity on social media sites such as Friends of Protection For Men or Fathers and Family NY (FaFNY) or a state organization in the state you are in. If possible, join a state or national organization which advocates for your topics and work yourself into the grass roots lobbyist for them on that topic. I think you will find many who need an organizer to DO and this will give you a grass roots base for you to represent and also an organization with information on the topic that you are presenting.

As a 25 year fathers rights/men’s rights activist, holding a Bachelors Degree in Family and Society, a leader and life member in many rights organizations I am versed on many topics and I lobby for many but (in addition to NY MAN) I limit myself to comments on Facebook, Fox News, and Epoch News and comment on multiple topics related to the men’s movement as they come up due to time constraints. Most won’t have the breadth of knowledge or the time to lobby on multiple topics across multiple platforms so pick one or two areas of expertise. Advocates should then get on multiple platforms to get the word out and if staying on one or two topics can work on many platforms. By staying on one or two topics you can get well informed and debunk a lot of the false narratives out there.

While memes like the one above are good at pointing to overall problems lobbying is about targeting government in one specific area to foster change. For example, Warren Farrell wants to address bias against men and boys by forming a White House Council and advocates for that. NCFM addresses bias against men and boys by advocating for equality in selective service for men and women. The same objective, bias against men and boys, addressed in two different lobbying areas. National Parents Organization is an example of focusing on one topic, shared parenting, across many platforms at all levels of government.

As most of us are hunkering down remember to take care of both your physical and mental health. I think that advocacy will help with the both as it will sharpen the mind, take your mind off of the crisis for a bit, and provide you some reward for working on behalf of another and helping to alleviate their problems and issues. Pick a topic, pick your platforms, and get to work.

Lastly, I’ll be looking to update NY MAN as some of the information is outdated. I’ll also look to post about my years as founder, President and principal lobbyist for the Coalition of Fathers and Families NY Inc. and the founder and Treasurer of the NY MAN PAC including the specifics of how to lobby NYS Government and what NOT to do based upon my experiences. I hope this sets up the next generation of activists for success as I fade off into retirement.