update 04-11-2022
NY MAN advises that men DON’T GET MARRIED! It offers no protections to men, and allows government regulatory control of your assets INCLUDING FUTURE EARNINGS!
As it stands right now there are no protections for a man in matrimonial court, this regardless if he agrees with the divorce or not. 80% of divorces are initiated by women and of college educated women the number is 90%, a Unilateral Divorce against his wishes with the number one reason given by women being “we grew apart”. In cases without children involved the matrimonial courts will apply sexist stereotypes of the man as financial provider and plunder his assets to cover the expenses of the divorce. Even in cases where she initiates the divorce the courts will award temporary (and in some cases permanent) alimony (called “maintenance” in NYS) from the “monied spouse” to the “non monied spouse”. As women tend to “marry up”, that is to marry men with higher earnings than them, we can switch “men” for the term “monied spouse”.
In cases where there are children involved the anti-male sex bias is even worse. Even though initiated by her you will suffer the same as above but the mother will get “custody”‘ of the children in about 80-85% of cases and you will be assessed “child support” (Government double speak for an excise tax) which is in effect an income transfer from you to her. Here the courts can even “impute income” and will assess at your “ability to earn”.
Under the guise of “protecting the children” the level will be set to “maintain the standard of living of the children” with the income transfers conveniently maintaining the standard of living of the mother also. As you do not have the economy of scale (two living as cheaply as one) and in paying to maintain two households where hers has to be maintained at the current level it doesn’t take an economist to figure out that this will eat up the bulk of your disposable income and leave you in poverty.
The cartoon above “I wonder what made him snap?” by Sean Delones appeared in the NY Post on July 12, 2006 and is based upon a “messy divorce” but speaks to the reality that men are being mistreated in matrimonial court and that this is widely recognized. Officials probe suicide attempt in NYC blast ‘Distinct possibility’ doctor in messy divorce caused explosion that hurt 15.
There is NO movement to reform unilateral divorce laws and individual attempts to build a contract (pre nuptial agreements) protecting your assets have failed as courts routinely throw them out. In NYS the split of assets isn’t equal but is based upon “equitable distribution”, meaning the judge decides. Given the propensity towards anti-male sexual bias to “protect women and children” we can expect only more of the same anti-male bias and oppressive treatment of men. THE ONLY WAY FOR A MAN TO PROTECT HIMSELF IS TO NOT GET MARRIED!
Prior to no fault divorce, actually a Unilateral Divorce against the wishes of one of the parties, marriage was a contract which held irresponsible parties responsible for causing the divorce. Entering into the 1970’s parties in agreement could enter into a separation agreement and obtain a “constructive abandonment” divorce after one year. Accountability and responsibility changed with the government regulated family in the form of Title IVd SSA, no fault divorce, and the removal of due process and protections for falsely accused males (child abuse and domestic violence). Without equal protection under the law and no fault divorce the marriage contract is nothing more than a verbal agreement which can be broken on a whim with no repercussions to the defaulting party and it makes no sense for men to enter into it.
Men and boys need to protect themselves from the oppression of government by not getting married, protecting against false allegations of abuse, and working on men’s reproductive and parental rights. NY MAN recognizes the value to men, women, and children of a married intact two parent biological family but until such time as individual EQUAL rights and due process protections are in place we hold that men should not get married.
